The 1% Solution
Every human endeavor relies upon one key factor for success.
Did you know that there is one simple and critical element of success at play in all areas of life but it shows up most noticeably in success at work and in long-term relationships?
Success in relationships.
For today I am going to focus on how to sustain success in marriage or long-term relationships. Googling “success in marriage” gets over 80 million hits. Even more for “success in relationships” at 256 million. Clearly, this is a topic of great interest and unending mystery. How do we address this herculean task of learning how to make our key relationships successful? My answer is called the 1% solution.
What is the 1%?
Recall how you felt at the beginning when you first met your beloved. It was all peaches and cream, wasn’t it? Sex was great, fun was in the air, and things were smooth and easy. You were 100% in and you and your partner were totally compatible. He or she was perfect. Along the way life happens and things get a little more complicated. Before you know it, a little doubt creeps in, maybe a question about just how perfect and wonderful your partner really is. That is okay, it is just human. But what is also human is that the 100% “all in” factor has been breached. Even if it just 1%.
Why is the 1% so important?
The difference between 99% and 100% is huge. You see at 99% you have opened the door to a potentially failed relationship. That is the “wondering door” as in; I wonder if there is someone better? I wonder if someone can turn me on more. I wonder if someone else will appreciate all my finer qualities. That wondering is not something you share with your partner so you start withholding. It means you are holding back your full love and commitment. It gives you permission to be critical and to look for the natural faults and imperfections that all humans have. That 1% whispers in your ear and allows you to think there must be someone else out there who is perfect.
How to give up the 1%.
Here is my coaching for a successful relationship. You must be willing to give up the 1% that you are holding back. You might think that 1% is not important but you are wrong. You might think the 1% doesn’t get in the way but you are wrong. You might think giving up the 1% traps you into the relationship but you are wrong. Giving up the 1% sets you free to create the perfect relationship now. It relieves you from the involuntary, unconscious seeking of another and the insidious small ways of wondering.
Here is the deal, it is only 1%. You have to consciously commit to 100%, and when the 1% wondering door opens, you consciously refuse to listen to its whispering in your ear. If you need some support, confide in a friend or consider a professional coach that is trained in the discipline of closing the 1% door. No matter who you are in a committed relationship with, eventually they will show up as less than perfect, just as you will show up that way for them. But if you really want a chance at that perfect long-term relationship, try the 1% solution.
You can apply the same principle to other areas of your life, especially your work. Banish the 1% and you will be amazed at the results.
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