associates, inc.The Can’t Series: Why You’re Unhappy At Work
We are all hampered by barriers we can’t see. For many, the invisible barriers make us unhappy at work.
In the “Can’t Series,” I describe the invisible factors that are at play behind the scenes and are holding you back from success. To empower yourself, you need to face these mysterious forces and be ruthlessly honest with yourself. If you follow these instructions, you have a shot at being happy and free.
What Does It Take to Be Happy At Work?
My guess is you don’t even know the answer to that question. Or you think the answer is that you’ll be happy when you have the right job, for the right money, with the right company and the right colleagues. You’ll be happy when they give you that raise, the big office, or promotion. You’ll be happy when you finally do the work you were meant to do rather than the meaningless daily grind that passes for your work today.
Why You’re Unhappy At Work
So why are you unhappy at work? What you don’t realize is that you have got it all backwards. You can’t see how you have created your own unhappiness by not accepting the reality that you are the creator of your circumstances. Or at least the reaction to your circumstances. As long as you blame, complain or make excuses in any way, you will be unhappy with your work or anything else in your life because there will always be circumstances that do not live up to some fantasy you imagine.
You finally get that promotion and realize you still report to someone you don’t like, or now you have added stress to go along with the bigger job. You find the perfect work, your so-called calling but, damn, the pay is lower. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, there will always be circumstances beyond your control that have the power to make you unhappy.
How To Be Happy at Work
If you’re unhappy at work, I am going to give you the keys to the kingdom but you must trust me and follow these instructions. Are you ready? Here it is: Wake up every day and make the following declaration:
“I am 100% happy with my work”.
Even if you absolutely hate it, say it anyway. Because it is not about the work, it is always about you. You are the arbiter of your happiness quotient. Not your boss. Not your annoying co-worker. Not your less-than-desirable office or paycheck.
Now, I know many of you already know this. You truly do know that you should not let things over which you have no control influence you. But you do it anyway. Why do you think that is?
The Can’t You Can’t See
Strange as it might seem, we humans are dedicated to being right, even at the expense of our own happiness.
Here is the way it works. Every time you complain, blame, or in any way refuse to take 100% responsibility for your happiness, you are paradoxically causing yourself to feel unhappy in order to be right. Your boss is a jerk, you’re right. Your co-worker is lazy and stupid, you’re right. So on, all the while you are being right and simultaneously identifying all the good reasons why you should be unhappy. That is “The Can’t You Can’t See.” Once you become aware of this invisible factor the next step is to give up the need to be right about all the circumstances making you unhappy. And then what usually happens is that the circumstances start to change around you. That is called the attraction principle. We can talk about that another time.
Stay on the lookout for future posts as I continue to write about “The Can’t”.
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