The Can’t Series: The Barriers We Don’t See
We are all stopped by barriers we don’t see.
Do you find yourself wondering why you are not more successful or as empowered in your life and job as you think you should be?
In my career as a coach, talking intimately with hundreds of people, I’ve learned a secret that I share with my clients. When it comes to success, it doesn’t matter what you do for a living. What matters is how well you do it. Yet, how well you are able to do it is a function of invisible factors at play behind the scenes, while you are like a helpless puppet, your strings being pulled by unseen forces.
Most people are like you.
You may have been struggling with this syndrome most of your life, yet can’t quite put your finger on what is holding you back. I am here to tell you what you’re struggling with is nothing more than your personal barrier᠆a barrier created internally to protect you from long ago mental, emotional, or physical harm.
The way it works.
While a personal barrier is helpful at the start, later it forces you to avoid any potentially painful circumstance that reminds you of the original circumstance. When that happens, you get scared and suddenly find yourself making decisions that make absolutely no sense. Paradoxically, that may keep you feeling safe as you ward off perceived danger, but it also makes you rigid, disempowered, and less able to access your inherent talent and intelligence.
My clients are usually successful people who are in a state of uncertainty or confusion because they can’t figure out why they are not as satisfied in their career. Why isn’t my job working out even though I’m smart and work hard? Why can’t I make my relationship work? Why can’t I maintain a balanced lifestyle and sense of well-being even though I know it’s critical to my long-term health?
“Sounds Crazy”
While this kind of behavior sounds a bit crazy, it’s just human. It’s what I call “the can’t you can’t see.” It’s like looking in the mirror and seeing your own image᠆the same one you always see, right? However, that’s a limited perspective, reflected through the filter of you. As a coach, my job is to help you change that filter, so you can see the real you. That filter is the part of you that holds you back.
This process is not therapy. It is simply holding up a mirror in a way that allows you to see yourself clearly. As you take a good hard look at that hidden barrier, it begins to lose its power over you. Seeing your barrier leads to insight and insight leads to action. Action leads to change.
I promise you this: Whether you are an executive or an organization, if you engage in this process you will be clearer about who you are, what you want, and how to go about getting it. Which leaves the question: Are you ready for change?
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